Review 2007 - Personal

For the first time in 23 years I feel like reviewing what has happened
in personal, political and economic space.

Personal:

I wonder what I have been doing for last 23 years anyway. Understandably 1st 6 years were spent on understanding that I am a human baby and fulfilling basic human needs and 'growing up'. Next 10 years, were unfortunately spent in school passing 1 year to another and joining in
misc activities. Some of them stayed with me, many forgotten. It's a whole new topic so lets move on. Big change at 16 - I arrived in S'pore. But thereafter, 6 years were spent in preparing for the world a.k.a rat race - Junior college and university. But, this year - year 2007 was very significant - it will shape my life. On my 22nd b'day I knew it would be different year but I was not prepared for this.

First, my graduation. Bachelor in Business Management - from a science to finance, I attribute this change to my 16th birthday, arrival in Singapore. What started out as interest in economics landed me in this world of finance. Do I enjoy it, definitely - is it something that I really want
- probably.

Next, driving license. I used to have nightmares on driving. I have crashed my vehicle in crowded market or break failure - something with serious causalities. I have never seen or been in an accident but I was always scared of it. Probably due to my friend's loss. My primary school
I had a friend whose dad and uncle passed away in an accident. Whatever the reason I tried hard to wriggle out of it. To add to my worry, S'pore is know for hard-to-pass driving test. But I did it- in FIRST ATTEMPT. Tell that to a Singaporean and you will earn same admiration as of
graduating with degree. Good statistics to find - how many pass at 1st attempt, 2nd and more than that. ..

Moving on, GMAT - now this was totally unplanned yet expected. I definitely want to go for further studies. More I work here and more I believe I need to study and better understand the market. GMAT is important. I had paid for fees on June but didn't start studying - seriously - 2 weeks prior to test. Given my test records of 580-600 I was skeptical of scoring anything above 650 - but - BUT - I got 710. This is not to boast but if the score report had bold option I would
have bold and underlined to ensure that its my report and my score - 93%... For my efforts I am a 'happy chappy'.

But the most important turning point in 2007 will be my job - Barclays Capital. Agreed it is not as big as Goldman Sach, Merrill or JP Morgan but its growing. I gambled with my job, took up a contract job when most of my peers went for graduate programs and/or permanent jobs. It was to get into Barclays and I succeeded - 6month later - I moved to Sales Assistant for emerging markets. It was not a very difficult phase. I am surprised with ease that I got this job. But I am definitely grateful. Dynamism, complication and pace - defines my job. It has affirmed my
belief that I want to move in this field albeit in a different role but field for sure.

I started last year hoping to land in a good job - that's it. But I have reached farther than that. Plans led astray but in a better direction. I recall my boring period in core on-boarding team to
stressful on-verge-of-tears day in current position. Some personal let downs that has left me wondering for what is to happened and professional achievement that will define my future.

1 year down - am I any closer to my ambition? Can't say but first step was in right direction....

Book Slut

Some books are to be tasted, others swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. This was for 20th century. For 21st century readers: Some books are great to flirt with, others to fall in love with and few to have serious relationships - needs improvisation but you got me. Ok it may sound outrageous but thats what I am - a book slut. This title is borrowed from attached article. (need to upload the file). But being one I know what it means to be a book slut or word slut.

I have habit of reading everything and anything. Classics to bottle labels; trashy novels to academic journal - anything that came my way and caught my attention. Serious readers believe to take 1 book at a time - read it patiently and then move to next. But me - no patience - sorry. I have borrowed 8 books this month - of which I have finished reading 2.5. Other 2 are reference book which I read selectively and other is just experimental reading. Also, there are few essential reading which I have not yet started. Bottomline - I have multiple relationship with my books.

Is it a good practice - may be not but to me it means accommodating my reading to my mood. I have books to suit my mood. It has also helped me to increase scope of my reading - from good scientific to business to great classics. At times I couldn't beat to read biography but now it is one my favourite reading topic. It started with reading small articles on the individual. Then getting 2 books at same time, trashy novel and a good biography. When I get tired of 'I did this and that' I change to 'He did this and that..'. But over the time I started enjoying the biographies and now I am an avid story collector but of real life stories.

There have been books that i have not managed to understand (Salmaan Rushdie) to those that I must have read 5-6 times (The Lord of the Rings). During exams/tests I will 'punish' myself by not having any books around the house and ensuring that I do what is required. I simply can't live without books. However, more I think about it, I can't live without reading words. I recollect reading the signboards on my way to school to reading crap advertisement boards in MRT (local train). Its my ongoing affair with words.

Well this is unending story of my love affairs with books/words/prints. So I will start a new sub-blog on books. Anyone interested in sharing my love?

On writing

After long time I have written so much. Always wanted to do this but never managed to bring myself to do it. With year end and new beginning, I was wondering what do I want to do this year. Procrastination came on top list - i.e. to stop doing it and getting things done. I am a writer of many unpublished thoughts and stories. I must have written numerous stories and essays in mind but hardly on paper.

Procrastination was just 1 reason. Probably it was effect and not cause of lack of writing. Underlying issue is my lack of self-confidence in my writing skills. I must have tried - not full heartedly - numerous books that could teach me tricks on writing. Finally I found the book: A Writer's Coach (http://www.amazon.com/Writers-Coach-Editors-Guide-Words/dp/0375423273). And I learned, there is no short cut - daily writing is the only way. To add to this, I am reading Naipaul's essay and I knew it - there is writer in me and I need to bring it out.

In this tech era - a blog era - how difficult can it get. My initial posts are just to fight my inertia. I will persevere to improve and write on for life. This is just a beginning of new year.... I aim to write weekly here. Hopefully....

Finally my typing can't keep up with my speed of thought. I got to go... . Catch up later.

Taare Zameen Par - A must watch

A Little Sweet, A Little Sour
A Little Close Not Too Far
All I Need, All I Need
All I Need Is To Be Free (http://www.sweetslyrics.com/540060.TAARE%20ZAMEEN%20PAR%20movie%20-%20Mera%20Jahan.html)

This song from movie aptly describes Ishaan, protagonist's emotions and feeling. The story is about Ishaan. (More: http://www.indiafm.com/movies/review/13306/index.html) I am not going to repeat here what can easily be googled i.e. movie preview, reviews. Below is my personal review on the movie.

Aamir Khan was my hero when I watched him in Hum Hai Rahi Pyar ke. A lost and confused uncle, trying to understand himself and his 2 nephew and a niece. It was my favourite movie as a child. Last week I watched Taare Zameen Par - and I was glad to be Aamir's ardent fan. He proved everyone wrong and emerged as one of the finest director. I believe TZP going to go down in history has 1 of the finest cinema. Songs, direction, acting - just perfect.

Performances: I love the lady who acted as Ishaan's mum. She has starred in some serials. I remember her as Riya from Astitva. Always liked her bold, confident look. She is natural as distressed mum. Each and every scene well delivered. Aamir, he is but the best. Again a new role and new image. He is great but this time he is only a supporting actor. The real star Ishaan a.ka. Darshil.

He was just amazing. I am waiting to see more from him now. I really hope he turns out decent looking because he is a fantastic actor. If as a child he can deliver so much - bollywood is waiting for him. But I hope he doesn't turn out as Kunal Khemu (again from Hum Hai Rahi..). He looks not-so-good.... Kher long way to go for Kunal. Waiting for Aamir's next movie.

Also, I found this blog, supposedly by Aamir. http://www.aamirkhan.com/blog.htm. I have posted my thoughts there and congratulated him. I hope its actually his blog. Assuming it is, he is a good writer.

About songs: They are inspirational and composition awesome. Shankar Ehsaan Loy are great pair. But it was getting monotonous - similar beats - rock n roll soniye, It's the time to disco... but this movie - its simply brilliant. Song 'Mera Jahan' makes feel like flying in the open skies....

As usual, lot to say but too tired to type. Will add later. Cheers!

Bhutto Assassinated

In the morning when I picked up the paper - I didn't believe the headlines. "Bhuto Assassinated". Shock, disbelief and worried - my initial reaction. Benazir Bhutto was ex-prime minister of Pakistan, first woman to lead an Islamic state. She led Pakistan from 1988 to 1990 and again from 1993 to 1996. Later, President Farooq Leghari dismissed her second administration amid accusations of corruption, intimidation of the judiciary, a breakdown of law and order, and undermining the justice system. After 8 years of self imposed exile, Bhutto had returned to Pakistan to stand for the Jan 8. But with her exit, the equation has changed.

Initially, I was reminded of Rajiv Gandhi's assassination. Only similarity is both are from political background and both were assassinated. I was not comparing the situation but rather the feeling of what a nation will be going through, the change in political landscape and long term implication of this.

Though Al Qaeda has claimed the reponsibility, conspiracy theories are rampant. Mushraff could have been involved. All the militant groups who hated Bhutto could have finally succeeded. I can't rule out Nawaz Sharif, who is leader of Muslim League-N party. Just my instincts in the last one.

Sadly, I am not familiar with different policies of parties in election and who may win. But for sure, it is not going to be the same. I will read up and add on here.

Bhutto's orbituary on CNN. Good read: http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/12/27/bhutto.obit/index.html

In pursuit of creativity - how creative...

I was never artistic. Nope, its not revelation nor acceptance but a simple statement. Yesterday, after dinner PD showed her cartoon drawings. She had this sudden inspiration from somewhere and she drew beautiful Tom & Jerry cartoons. Flaunting her art, this fact was revealed to me.

During my teens, in Ankleshwar I was living in colony. My friends used to sign up for all sorts of arts courses – glass painting, nib-painting heena etc etc etc. Not me. I blamed my mother for not putting me in those courses. But the fact is – I hated it. I lacked the patience. And creativity is not my realm.

So I delved on, what would I have done if not these courses. Computers. How I wish they existed in Ankleshwar and there was all the programming and coding to be done then. My earliest memory for computer dates back to turtle. Left 5, up 8 and right 5 and down 8 – there we go – my square. It is from computer labs from Gyan Dham, Vapi. So I was barely 10 then. How I wish it would have continued and during my teens I would have atleast learn basic dos. But well that’s the loss of being raised in small town. (Just discovered that Ank is town of 67000 people.)

Computer ruled out, next, I could have taken up writing. Ah, now it sounds something plausible. And I did write. My loose poetries, attempt at essays and I am unsure if I was good at it. The only recognition I have is winning poetry contest in 6th standard at age of 12. Now that should have motivated me. But na, it lasted a while.

Next, I started collecting – pictures to make a collage. Thought, can’t draw a straight line, can atleast cut and paste pictures! I have good cards and pictures collected over last 4 years. But still, they are just lying there. Here I lost myself not due to lack of creativity, but to admit - laziness. However, frankly said, I did attempt to paste it – but then it was so dumb and so dull – I called quits.

That reminds me of incomplete needle work lying in study table. It is simple flower and embroidery of approximately 2x2 inches. But it lies there, abandoned and forgotten. Many such half hearted attempts, calligraphy, needle work, keyboard, heena and others
Leaves me with tinge of guilt and it says – you are no good with this work, give up – your pursuit of creativity.

But, I have one last skill which vouches for my creative gene – dancing! I was a decent Bharatnatyam dancer. My first performance at age of 9; leader at age of 13 and choreographer since – around that age as well. Bottom line, I am performance artist.

So, till date I succeeded at 2 attempts – dancing and writing. A common link, expression. Though none have admired my writing, like dancing, but both allow me to be lost and take me to place where I am one with One. Bring me closer in pursuit of the One.