I was never artistic. Nope, its not revelation nor acceptance but a simple statement. Yesterday, after dinner PD showed her cartoon drawings. She had this sudden inspiration from somewhere and she drew beautiful Tom & Jerry cartoons. Flaunting her art, this fact was revealed to me.
During my teens, in Ankleshwar I was living in colony. My friends used to sign up for all sorts of arts courses – glass painting, nib-painting heena etc etc etc. Not me. I blamed my mother for not putting me in those courses. But the fact is – I hated it. I lacked the patience. And creativity is not my realm.
So I delved on, what would I have done if not these courses. Computers. How I wish they existed in Ankleshwar and there was all the programming and coding to be done then. My earliest memory for computer dates back to turtle. Left 5, up 8 and right 5 and down 8 – there we go – my square. It is from computer labs from Gyan Dham, Vapi. So I was barely 10 then. How I wish it would have continued and during my teens I would have atleast learn basic dos. But well that’s the loss of being raised in small town. (Just discovered that Ank is town of 67000 people.)
Computer ruled out, next, I could have taken up writing. Ah, now it sounds something plausible. And I did write. My loose poetries, attempt at essays and I am unsure if I was good at it. The only recognition I have is winning poetry contest in 6th standard at age of 12. Now that should have motivated me. But na, it lasted a while.
Next, I started collecting – pictures to make a collage. Thought, can’t draw a straight line, can atleast cut and paste pictures! I have good cards and pictures collected over last 4 years. But still, they are just lying there. Here I lost myself not due to lack of creativity, but to admit - laziness. However, frankly said, I did attempt to paste it – but then it was so dumb and so dull – I called quits.
That reminds me of incomplete needle work lying in study table. It is simple flower and embroidery of approximately 2x2 inches. But it lies there, abandoned and forgotten. Many such half hearted attempts, calligraphy, needle work, keyboard, heena and others
Leaves me with tinge of guilt and it says – you are no good with this work, give up – your pursuit of creativity.
But, I have one last skill which vouches for my creative gene – dancing! I was a decent Bharatnatyam dancer. My first performance at age of 9; leader at age of 13 and choreographer since – around that age as well. Bottom line, I am performance artist.
So, till date I succeeded at 2 attempts – dancing and writing. A common link, expression. Though none have admired my writing, like dancing, but both allow me to be lost and take me to place where I am one with One. Bring me closer in pursuit of the One.
