Obsessed on doing good

I am recently obsessed with 'doing good' for the world. Now this has surprised me as well as I am not exactly kind and sensitive person. I have tendency to offend my most friends by being myself (sparing one who just doesn't care). So where does this idea of doing good comes from?

Let me clarify few things first:
I believe in comfortable life and enjoy finer things in life. That doesn't equate to branded bags and clothes but includes a $150 LOTR exclusive collection. Simply said I value money for what it brings. A
Secondly, I believe donation is not about feel good factor. I need to see direct beneficiary of my money. I have been working hard for it so better be a deserving person.
Also, I don't believe in quitting my job to starting 'saving the world'. I love my finance field and plan to stay in it. So I have 2 options: contribute part-time or converge my passion. The 2nd option is more viable and that forms the foundation of my MBA plans. (more on it later)

So back to my obsession:
It started with a thought - I can't change the whole world but I can change the world of one person. Think about it - sponsoring a kids education only takes fraction of my salary. I don't expect him/her to become the next CEO but if he can be simple clerk/technician atleast better than begging. Their kids will have some future. The revolution can start with one person.
Hence my belief in education.

As for environment - I am just being pure selfish. I need to breathe fresh air, clean oceans to dive in and great food to eat (I live to eat). I don't believe in animal causes because I don't particular love for them. But I do believe in food chain and after reading Wolf Totem I am convinced that they are here not here for diversity on the planet but for sustainability of our earth.

Conclusion, I don't believe in doing good for others but for myself. I don't believe anyone does anything without any expectation. I work for money that buys me comfort, my mum does household chore because she loves her family and expects our love in return - nothing wrong with it but point being 'expectation'. If nothing much - its about 'feel good factor' that all of us need all the time.

Ghulam Ali's concert

On 15th November I had once in a lifetime opportunity to hear to king of Ghazal - Ghulam Ali. It was really fantastic experience although not upto the par. I still admire his selection and now listing the ghazals and nzam he offered.
Started with: Har Ek Baat Pe Kehte Ho.. (http://www.mirzaghalib.in/mirza-ghalib-poetry/5)
Phir Issi Rehguzar Se.... shayad
The famous - Chupke chupke
Ye Baatein Jhooti Baatein
Dil Mein Ek leher Uthi (the various forms of Leher he presented was fascinating)
Punjabi Song -
Hungama Hai Kyun
2 more I can't recall - will add later.

Top 10 Free Desktop Blog Editors for Windows

To consider?
Top 10 Free Desktop Blog Editors for Windows

On techonology and laziness

Back in university I was an IT enthusiast. I used to subscribe to download.com and read up on latest softwares and download the trial items to judge their usefulness. I have discovered some fascinating tools thanks to my 'hobby'. Some of the tools that are now 1st things to download for me are:
Firefox - Only time I use IE is to download firefox package.
Mediamonkey - Excellent at organizing my music. I have retagged and renamed 4000+ songs of mine within a month. I can't believe I use to rename and retag each song... i.e. 2x editing...
Audacity - For mixing. Only way I could get my music for my dance easily done without professional help. Ofcourse Bharat Goel was a savior later.
Google - I am a Google generation. Though recently I have not been using it but I regret not getting a good email address with gmail. Otherwise would have done away with Yahoo mail.

Well the list is long but point is these tools are essential for my plugged in life.

Ofcourse the experimentation often led computer to run out of memory or cluttered hard drive resulting in frequent disk fragmentation.

But lately I have been very very lazy and done away with it. Resulting, lagging behind my IT quotient. So I have started to jump start my passion.

ICalendar - that allows me to sync my google calendar with outlook and nokia phone. How cool is that.
Ypop - i used to use it in school to download my yahoo mail in the Outlook. Just started to use it - hopefully I can improve my turnaround time on replying to the emails.
Will keep posting my latest finds here meanwhile. Hopefully I can get out of my laziness and return to my geeky self when it comes to softwares and gadgets.

Singapore ka don kaun?

This is my favourite picture of all the navratri pics this years. My dad took this when i was arguing with someone during the dance. As emcce I have had privilige of being on the stage at my terms and conditions. I have never seen myself as a powerful personality but this picture.... speaks for itself.

Singaore ka bhai kaun?

My apiration...

This pic was taken in 2005 - on my way to garden festival. I was then in my 2nd year and this skyline always fascinated me. This is the financial hub of Singapore and of the Asia. Then I took this picture and captioned that one day I will part of this skyline. Now, I am working in one of the best office building - One Raffles Quay on 28th floor that commands beautiful view.

Now as I see the financial markets crumbling I wonder what will happen of these towers. This time the bomb is bigger than that brought down the World Trade Center yet no one will see the fire, smoke and the shouts. Still everyone has been the part of hysteria.

I was young enough to remember crisis of 1997 when my dad came to Singapore with high hopes of landing a job. Little was he aware of the impeding financial tsunami. He returned and we had tough time staying afloat. I can still recall the tension in the house. I don't recall my father watching financial news or specific business news but still he and ultimately we were affected by the downturn. Only in 1999 we managed to come out. This is coincidental with economic expansion - probably its not a coincident; it may be due to economic expansion.

My dad has seen his fair share of changing economic landscape. Now its my time. This picture reminds me of my aspiration as a college student, my eagerness to be part of it. Now I am one of them but do I want to stay involved or step away to form a newer world.

This is ironic, the 1st 'tower' is a actually a monument dedicated to those who sacrificed their lives in 1942 war. In this picture it stands taller than the financial powerhouse. I wonder wat monument will be build for the millions of life destroyed by this crisis?

Reflecting on my life

Today my mum shouted that my life is like a machine and I need to do something about it.

The question was very well timed as I had one of the roughest week at work. With entire financial industry crumbling and bringing the economy down with it has left many contemplate career in this field. More I think of it more I am convinced I belong here.

I absolutely love the drama that unfolds each day. My only regret - I am backstage crew and I yearn to be on the front stage - not to worry it is coming. Soon. But I am paying for my current lifestyle. Fewer deeper connections - that is fine with me. I have some really good friends and they have been with me for over 10 years now and I thank them for not writing me off.

I get lesser time with books, that is okay I still read a lot and only wish I could write more. Writing has taken a backseat due to my required essay writing.

So I threw back question to my mum - is it easy for her to plug out of her current life and go and do what she really wants (go to India, travel etc etc). She didn't answer but I know its not easy for her to plug out. Her presence is important for me but not critical. Yet she is unable to distance herself from us. She is more connected than I am. Atleast for me I enjoy partly what I do, I have chosen this life and I don't have major regrets.

True, my career choice has affected my social life but I am not much of an 'outgoing' person - I prefer my close friends and keep within them. I love making new contacts but at a distance.
As I plan my MBA I wonder if I should consider career shift. Absolutely not. I am on right path just wrong vehicle.

Rushing for time

Lately I have my hands full with things to do:
1) MBA application: I have shortlisted my schools (finally)
Wharton - course in finance + social innovation is high point of this school
Columbia - only 1 reason - Raymond Fisman, C. Fritz Foley
Tepper - Technical depth + laid back environment.
Cornell - Strong social innovation + Africa exchange program + live trading & sales room
ISB - The international edge in India + Africa exchange program + leading faculty

2) Financial markets
With so much happening, my thoughts are racing ahead and I hardly have time to note and reflect on current world events. But thanks to John Maudlin's reading, makes up for the loss

3) My idea on volunteerism
As I write my essays, I discover the power I have within me and I can't wait to set out to accomplish it. Want to enroll in an organization for children.

4) Did Tony Buzan's writing skills course
I was not very impressed by the course but the mind mapping training really helped. Its pretty much all in the books and implementing the techniques. Overall a powerful tool but adequate training provided.

5) Start my own portfolio
I want to manage my money now. Last year i remember staying out coz i was having a feeling that this is hyped, bubble in making. I don't attribute it to my 'market insight' but just the way the wall street was racing ahead. But now I believe we have reached the bottom; the damage is done and recession has begun. After 6 months will be good time to enter the market.

6) Reading
My obsession with bookshelf on facebook grows. There is a long list of books I want to read. Just wait till November when my MBA application will be over. I am going to unleash my voracious appetite ;).

7) Finding a social organization in Gujarat for my trip

8) Traveling plans?

9) Catch up on gym...

Prayers that I learnt

http://www.oremus.org/hymnal/o/o797.html Thank you for finding one of my most fav prayers from Swami Vivekananda school. 

One more step along the world I go, 
one more step along the world I go;
from the old things to the new 
keep me traveling along with you:

Part of clutter

Thoughts:

Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek. Mario Andretti Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. Mark Twain Aditya Mukherjee's mail: mukherjee.aditya@gmail.com I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. Mark Twain Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Browne (24/05/07) Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. Unknown (25/05/07) "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp. Or what's a heaven for?" "Andrea Del Saro' by Robert Browning. Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us. John N. Mitchell Intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.

Clutter all over

Information overload, primarily due to 'I am left out train of thought' which I am currently affected by. So rules that I need to establish for myself

1) You need not know everything - its ok to be 'not the most updated'. 

2) If you loose some piece of info - its ok - but don't horde everything that comes your way. You can always find it again on the web or from your web of people. 

3) If you have good ideas, note it down - because nobody is going to find it for you. Your own ideas are more important than provided by others. 

So with above rules of 3 comes up now some interesting pieces that I have tucked away somewhere nicely but time to let them go from bookmarks/postits etc etc. 

our Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the

All Rationals (NTs) share the following core characteristics: Rationals pride themselves on being ingenious, independent, and strong willed. Rationals are even-tempered, they trust logic, yearn for achievement, seek knowledge, prize technology, and dream of understanding how the world works. Rationals tend to be pragmatic, skeptical, self-contained, and focused on problem-solving and systems analysis. Rationals make reasonable mates, individualizing parents, and strategic leaders.

Rationals are the problem solving temperament, particularly if the problem has to do with the many complex systems that make up the world around us. Rationals might tackle problems in organic systems such as plants and animals, or in mechanical systems such as railroads and computers, or in social systems such as families and companies and governments. But whatever systems fire their curiosity, Rationals will analyze them to understand how they work, so they can figure out how to make them work better. In working with problems, Rationals try to find solutions that have application in the real world, but they are even more interested in the abstract concepts involved, the fundamental principles or natural laws that underlie the particular case. And they are completely pragmatic about their ways and means of achieving their ends. Rationals don't care about being politically correct. They are interested in the most efficient solutions possible, and will listen to anyone who has something useful to teach them, while disregarding any authority or customary procedure that wastes time and resources. Rationals have an insatiable hunger to accomplish their goals and will work tirelessly on any project they have set their mind to. They are rigorously logical and fiercely independent in their thinking -- are indeed skeptical of all ideas, even their own -- and they believe they can overcome any obstacle with their will power. Often they are seen as cold and distant, but this is really the absorbed concentration they give to whatever problem they're working on. Whether designing a skyscraper or an experiment, developing a theory or a prototype technology, building an aircraft, a corporation, or a strategic alliance, Rationals value intelligence, in themselves and others, and they pride themselves on the ingenuity they bring to their problem solving. Rationals are very scarce, comprising as little as 7 to 10 percent of the population. But because of their drive to unlock the secrets of nature, and to develop new technologies, they have done much to shape our world. The four types of Rationals are: Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) | Mastermind (INTJ) | Inventor (ENTP) | Architect (INTP)

Self-Assessment Aids MBA Applicants

Self-Assessment Aids MBA Applicants

Speed reading

To review once the new opportunity is clarified.

A I Training Consultants

On poetry

Just read a beautiful song at Ankur's blog and had to write some comments.

Though the technical aspects of the poetry - for that matter literature - is beyond me , I always liked them. They can convey so much with so few words. When silence is not enough and prose too heavy, use poetry to convey your feelings... Well that definitely forces me to understand the technical aspects of one - but then does one need that knowledge to appreciate good poetry?

Yes, the tech knowledge gives you greater details about the poem and admire not only the meaning but the poet's talent as well.

The Dark Knight

Just came back from the movie - yes on a workday - The Dark Knight. I was not very enthusiastic about it on Friday when my friend suggested that we should catch it. But on Sunday, karma favoring me, it was on local channel and I was able to watch its part 1. I loved it - both the Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

One of my favourite part of the movie was the ship situation. The Joker puts 2 group of people in 2 ships - 1 with criminals and other with ordinary people. He tells them that there is bomb in both and detonator in other ship. So if they don't blow each other by 12 midnight - he will blow up both.

What fascinated me was not everyone rushes to get the detonator and blow each other up. Ofcours batman saves the day by ensuring that the Joker don't blow them up but it strengthens my belief that people do not react to a situation as we assume them to do.

We assume that everyone thinks alike - but they don't. However, we presume that they will and we don't give them a chance to prove otherwise. Hence, we end up loosing out on lot of things. I am not saying that people are totally unpredictable, but that they are not very predictable. We need to give people chance.

I had huge argument with my friend on above. She is having issues with her current manager and I asked her to raise it to HR and head of Ops. But she didn't want to because she assumed that HR would react according to rules and head of Ops would just listen to the managers. My argument was - so what - if they do then at the best you might have to quit job - which you are still planning to do. SO why not give them a chance to help you out! I don't know what is doing but I do hope that she does give them a chance to help.

Bottomline, don't consider yourself at good understanding of a person - give them a chance to surprise you.

Here Is Your Pen Scanner, Mr. Bond - New York Times

My voracious reading and desperate need to collect information and ideas - I need to slow down my reading and take notes as I go. Unacceptable.

So my next gadget is going to be this pen scanner! Amazing stuff - time to research and find the best one. Time to take my reading habit high tech.

Here Is Your Pen Scanner, Mr. Bond - New York Times

Social networking sites

Friendster, Facebook, My Space, WAYN, Ourkut, LinkedIn - endless names for keeping in touch with people - but are we actually more connected to others with all the 'networking' sites. I am afraid not. Atleast not me. I hate logging on to the websites and updating what I am doing. Not that I am an anti-social creature - I like personal meetings and keeping in touch with people but thats not happening much lately.

Infact, lately I have realized I have difficulty striking a conversation with a friend. What is happening to me! I could carry on a discussion with a complete stranger for an hour but finding it difficulty to talk with a friend.

Conversation with a stranger is difficult; is a stranger to me. I try hard to escape with a simple smile yet social grace imposes a conversation with that stranger. As I stumble with courteous words, I try to silence the vulgar voice in my mind. I am not running away from you my friend, its my past that I am trying to get away from.

NATIONAL NETWORK FOR INDIA

http://www.nnfi.org.in/
To explore

On writing

Writing is an art and not many can master yet. Yet it is one of the easier art to imitate but difficult to impress. Blogs have made it more so. So I did stop writing for a while - after all I prefer the pen paper to typing on this laptop. I keep personal diary for my thoughts and still find it more calming then blog. However to share with someone was question. Realization that not many will be reading made me quit writing till Mr X commented on it.

Not till my very good friend told me in a conversation that he read my blog - I knew I had to continue. Writing to him was always easy and so now blogging doesn't seem a chore.

In lifetime to make one good friend is luck, to keep him is blessing.

3 good reasons

If I have one bad habit - it would be procrastinating my work. Keeping my daily blog to developing good writing habits; it boils down to procrastination. So I have started developing 3 good reasons system. I force myself to give 3 good reasons for not accomplishing my goal. Wherever i see laziness i know that this is not a good reason and i have to overcome them. And guess what I found that is always my second reason. For example exercising. I wouldn't say I am a couch potato but I was not a very active person - till this year in APril. I wanted to learn swimming and start gym. So I noted 3 reasons which is stopping me from doing it.
Gym:
Time --> Work ends at 7+ so by the time I reach home its 10. So? I don't have family responsibility or answerable to anyone. And stop watching those stupid soaps.
Too far --> SMU gym is too far - well find near office.
Too expensive --> Barclays corporate membership. You earn 3.5k a month sure you can afford 100 bucks a months for gym.
And guess what after answering my own 3 excuses I have been going to gym twice a week. First 2 weeks a 10mins jog=0.5km run would exhaust me. Now I go for 5km run. Now thats what I call personal achievement. Now my aim is to run for 5km run. So next sign up for Barclays running event. yey!
Project 2: Swimming
Unable to fnd a group - join YWCA and make a new one. Not everywhere you will find a group.
Inconvenient timing --> Sunday evening was very inconvenient but sat aftn was fine. Excuse ruled out.
Money - ha! just another feeble excuse.
Guess what not only did I find a great group at Costa Del So with Mr. & Mrs. Chawla and Mr. A - I have now managed to learn basic swimming and I absolutely love it!
So I am now going to note what else do I want to achieve by end of this year and analyze what is stopping me from achieving it.

The World - Thomas Malthus Redux - Is Doomsday Upon Us, Again? - NYTimes.com

The World - Thomas Malthus Redux - Is Doomsday Upon Us, Again? - NYTimes.com

Doomsday theory or blame game; the current global crisis is here to stay. We might find the situation easing for few years but its going to comeback with a bigger bang.

webitpr | Brits Fail To Cash In On Free £5 Notes

webitpr | Brits Fail To Cash In On Free £5 Notes

Need to read up but lines that caught me:
People simply had to approach the sandwich board wearer and ask for a fiver. If more than 98 per cent of the people who passed by couldn’t be bothered to do that, it raises some interesting questions about what needs to be done to persuade people to make an effort to improve their financial position.”

Foundlings | Things found in books | LibraryThing

Foundlings | Things found in books | LibraryThing

Never such long history with books to discover such things. And unlike other places - hardly any used bookshop place here. But I want to explore them. Though the idea of using new book is exciting - the thought of discovering a hidden gem is equally (if not more) inviting. Maybe I should head to Bras Basah or Tanglin Mall this week? What say.

Conceptual Trends and Current Topics

Conceptual Trends and Current Topics

On Buffet's 1mio bet on whether the hedge fund (Protege) will beat the S&P 500. Must track what happens.

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement : Harvard Magazine

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement : Harvard Magazine

Harvard is school of my choice - not only because its a great brand name but above article will speak for itself. The opportunities in form of people, work and activities are ample and this is what I want to be part of. Well positive thinking tells me that I have to think about getting into Harvard and work towards it - and I will land up there :). So inspired to dream on..

On Shopping

After reading Rahul's post on Shopping I couldn't stop myself because as rare it is to find a guy who loves shopping, equally rare is to find a girl who hates shopping - and I am one of those.

I have never enjoyed the pain of walking through malls and checking the 100 items to get 1 that you are supposed to like - what if I change my mind later and I don't want to use it. I can't return it - waste of money, time and energy; plus add the guilt of not using it. To add to the pain is trying the clothes - getting the right size and fit - and queuing up at trial rooms.

The story doesn't end there, selection in Singapore is very limited. Solids in 4 colours - black, white, red and blue. Green, yellow and pink is great find and anything beyond the primary and secondary colour will be akin to treasure hunt. I hate the limitations.

This dislike of shopping was there even as a kid - I used to go with my parents who use to sort and select my clothes for me to try - if it looks good - great buy it otherwise next. Even today I take my mom along to shop - rather when she gets tired of me wearing same clothes over and over again she drags me to a mall and ensures my wardrobe is 'refreshed'. Sounds strange... check with my mum.

My shopping style is strictly functional - I have in mind what I need - go to the counter, select it and pay for it. Window shopping is taboo word. Only place that I love to shop is stationary and bookshop. Thats one place that I will never walk out of. Even today if I want to have retail therapy a walk in Times Bookshop or Border or Prints will do the magic.

Just waiting to earn enough bucks to hire a personal shopper. Till then my mum will do...

Review 2007 - Personal

For the first time in 23 years I feel like reviewing what has happened
in personal, political and economic space.

Personal:

I wonder what I have been doing for last 23 years anyway. Understandably 1st 6 years were spent on understanding that I am a human baby and fulfilling basic human needs and 'growing up'. Next 10 years, were unfortunately spent in school passing 1 year to another and joining in
misc activities. Some of them stayed with me, many forgotten. It's a whole new topic so lets move on. Big change at 16 - I arrived in S'pore. But thereafter, 6 years were spent in preparing for the world a.k.a rat race - Junior college and university. But, this year - year 2007 was very significant - it will shape my life. On my 22nd b'day I knew it would be different year but I was not prepared for this.

First, my graduation. Bachelor in Business Management - from a science to finance, I attribute this change to my 16th birthday, arrival in Singapore. What started out as interest in economics landed me in this world of finance. Do I enjoy it, definitely - is it something that I really want
- probably.

Next, driving license. I used to have nightmares on driving. I have crashed my vehicle in crowded market or break failure - something with serious causalities. I have never seen or been in an accident but I was always scared of it. Probably due to my friend's loss. My primary school
I had a friend whose dad and uncle passed away in an accident. Whatever the reason I tried hard to wriggle out of it. To add to my worry, S'pore is know for hard-to-pass driving test. But I did it- in FIRST ATTEMPT. Tell that to a Singaporean and you will earn same admiration as of
graduating with degree. Good statistics to find - how many pass at 1st attempt, 2nd and more than that. ..

Moving on, GMAT - now this was totally unplanned yet expected. I definitely want to go for further studies. More I work here and more I believe I need to study and better understand the market. GMAT is important. I had paid for fees on June but didn't start studying - seriously - 2 weeks prior to test. Given my test records of 580-600 I was skeptical of scoring anything above 650 - but - BUT - I got 710. This is not to boast but if the score report had bold option I would
have bold and underlined to ensure that its my report and my score - 93%... For my efforts I am a 'happy chappy'.

But the most important turning point in 2007 will be my job - Barclays Capital. Agreed it is not as big as Goldman Sach, Merrill or JP Morgan but its growing. I gambled with my job, took up a contract job when most of my peers went for graduate programs and/or permanent jobs. It was to get into Barclays and I succeeded - 6month later - I moved to Sales Assistant for emerging markets. It was not a very difficult phase. I am surprised with ease that I got this job. But I am definitely grateful. Dynamism, complication and pace - defines my job. It has affirmed my
belief that I want to move in this field albeit in a different role but field for sure.

I started last year hoping to land in a good job - that's it. But I have reached farther than that. Plans led astray but in a better direction. I recall my boring period in core on-boarding team to
stressful on-verge-of-tears day in current position. Some personal let downs that has left me wondering for what is to happened and professional achievement that will define my future.

1 year down - am I any closer to my ambition? Can't say but first step was in right direction....

Book Slut

Some books are to be tasted, others swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. This was for 20th century. For 21st century readers: Some books are great to flirt with, others to fall in love with and few to have serious relationships - needs improvisation but you got me. Ok it may sound outrageous but thats what I am - a book slut. This title is borrowed from attached article. (need to upload the file). But being one I know what it means to be a book slut or word slut.

I have habit of reading everything and anything. Classics to bottle labels; trashy novels to academic journal - anything that came my way and caught my attention. Serious readers believe to take 1 book at a time - read it patiently and then move to next. But me - no patience - sorry. I have borrowed 8 books this month - of which I have finished reading 2.5. Other 2 are reference book which I read selectively and other is just experimental reading. Also, there are few essential reading which I have not yet started. Bottomline - I have multiple relationship with my books.

Is it a good practice - may be not but to me it means accommodating my reading to my mood. I have books to suit my mood. It has also helped me to increase scope of my reading - from good scientific to business to great classics. At times I couldn't beat to read biography but now it is one my favourite reading topic. It started with reading small articles on the individual. Then getting 2 books at same time, trashy novel and a good biography. When I get tired of 'I did this and that' I change to 'He did this and that..'. But over the time I started enjoying the biographies and now I am an avid story collector but of real life stories.

There have been books that i have not managed to understand (Salmaan Rushdie) to those that I must have read 5-6 times (The Lord of the Rings). During exams/tests I will 'punish' myself by not having any books around the house and ensuring that I do what is required. I simply can't live without books. However, more I think about it, I can't live without reading words. I recollect reading the signboards on my way to school to reading crap advertisement boards in MRT (local train). Its my ongoing affair with words.

Well this is unending story of my love affairs with books/words/prints. So I will start a new sub-blog on books. Anyone interested in sharing my love?