This is from movie Wake Up Sid and one of my favorite scene.
Gunja sa hai koi Iktara....
"Ek ehsaas jo rooh ko choole, ek pal jo bahon mein sametle, ek mohabbat jo zindagi savarle"
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
So what do I really love?
I was thinking of word love... and wondering how would I loved something? Why this silly question? Because lately I realized that I don't know what I really love doing. Am I doing just because I am supposed to or because I love to. One question leading to another - typical mindmapping. The answers didn't come easily but then nowadays I don't move on with questions fast. I think of them all the while. Hence, I have formed a hypothesis and just writing some thoughts here.
Things that bring smile to face and I can indulge in them anytime is things I like. Love is those that has power to move me and change my mood. No matter where I am, how I am when I indulge in things that I love, I am alive. So what are the things I love:
I love Hindi music! I know angrezi gaane are awesome. They have awesome music and lyrics. In fact, some of my favorite songs are actually chori from angrezi but they sound better in Hindi to me... Because when angrezi gaane are on, I have to focus on lyrics and then only enjoy them. Maybe my English is weak for music but to me songs are supposed to be for enjoyment and should be effortless. Music to me is not simply instruments but lyrics that touches your heart and moves me. It is my mother tongue - that I don't even pay attention to but I can still understand.
I love movies. The stories, the visuals the movements - I get so involved in them. When I was a kid, I remember I didn't know those were actors on screen. A particular instance I remember movie Phool Aur Kaante when I was telling that to my friends I said, "the heroine was 'Pooja'.... " So yes I love movies of all type except horror movies which are gory. They are just unimaginative.
I love words. I know thats crazy statement but I love to read and write. I read randomly and write randomly. But I love it. I read labels, signboards, street signs, instruction paper...anything with words. I always wondered why people write. Answer seems simple - to communicate. To whom? To themselves I think. Do people seek to be understood? That is another thought that I don't want to get on. But I write for myself. To preserve my memory to see how far I have come. I know things will change but its good to see which way things have changed.
I love photographs... not typical people but artistic photographs. One of my favorite site is Deviantart.
I realize that I love people watching. Sitting in an open cafe and watching people passing by feels great.
I love lot of things... but these are things that cheers me up instantly... even thinking about it. As 2010 begins, I am not taking any resolution but I have decided to be better each day. how? By indulging in things that I truly love. After all the goal for life is to be happy.
Monday, 21 December 2009
Remembering 2009
Today's date is special Year ago I was in Vapi. And what a year it has been since then. Year of my biggest achievement and my biggest failure. Am I proud of it or am I ashamed of it? I am not too sure.
Of my 100 years of life (yes, I am an optimist) it will be one of the memorable year. I turned 25 this year, a quarter of life. As much as girls crib about being half-way to 50, I am excited to be 25 because I know my life at 50 will be an achievement I am looking forward to. So only half-way there. It was very special to celebrate it with Reena, Shivani, Nishit and Sulabh. Within 6 months I made so good friends that I discovered what I love most; people around me. My friends have really special way of making me feel special.
2009 a year of celebrations: I was admitted to one of my dream school for MBA - Carnegie Mellon University, moved to USA to live my dream independent life and starting on my journey to discover myself. My biggest achievement turned failure, my engagement to Nisarg. Many questions were raised but I am sure the answers lies in future.
What more lies in future is yet to be discovered but I believe 2010 will be another exciting year when I will find an internship and start on my career. I really wish I could fast forward this segment and watch what I am doing next year at this time.
Let the new spin begin..
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Randomness of a fool
Fooled by Randomness is book on market performance. Now it is a very complicated issue that I feel removed from but there is something very personal about this post.
Today I am feeling absolutely random. It started with a panic attack on "What I am going to do". Now I do care a lot about this question as I think last few years I have been drifting and this MBA is a decisive step towards my dream. So what dream? And 2.5 years at Barclays has helped me arrive so far. So what drifting? Bottomline, there is much to me today than usual.
First of all I am feeling random. What I mean is random energy bursts and excitement to do much more than I am doing.
Sunday, 1 November 2009
Thank you for visiting my theif.
"The thief
left it behind —
The moon at the window.
Ryokan
This is just what Ryokan wrote after the thief had gone. The whole story is beautiful…. One night a thief entered into Ryokan’s small hut. Ryokan had only one blanket which he used day and night to cover his body. That was his only possession. He was lying down but he was not asleep, so he opened his eyes and saw the thief entering. He felt great compassion for him because he knew there was nothing in the house. “If the poor fellow had informed me before, I could have begged something from the neighbors and kept it here for him to steal. But now what can I do?”
Seeing that there was nothing, that he had entered into a monk’s hut, the thief started to go out. Ryokan could not resist. He gave his blanket to the thief. The thief said, “What are you doing? You are standing naked. It is a very cold night!”
He said, “Don’t be worried about me. But don’t go empty-handed. I have enjoyed this moment, you have made me feel like a rich man. Thieves usually enter the palaces of emperors. By your entering here my hut has also become a palace, I have also become an emperor. In my joy this just a gift.”
Even the thief felt sorry for him and he said, “No, I cannot receive this gift because you don’t have anything. How you are going to pass the night? It is so cold, and it is getting colder!”
Ryokan said with tears in his eyes, “You remind me again and again of my poverty. If it was in my power I would have taken hold of the full moon and given it to you.”
When the thief left he wrote in his diary:
The thief
left it behind —
The moon at the wind"
left it behind —
The moon at the window.
Ryokan
This is just what Ryokan wrote after the thief had gone. The whole story is beautiful…. One night a thief entered into Ryokan’s small hut. Ryokan had only one blanket which he used day and night to cover his body. That was his only possession. He was lying down but he was not asleep, so he opened his eyes and saw the thief entering. He felt great compassion for him because he knew there was nothing in the house. “If the poor fellow had informed me before, I could have begged something from the neighbors and kept it here for him to steal. But now what can I do?”
Seeing that there was nothing, that he had entered into a monk’s hut, the thief started to go out. Ryokan could not resist. He gave his blanket to the thief. The thief said, “What are you doing? You are standing naked. It is a very cold night!”
He said, “Don’t be worried about me. But don’t go empty-handed. I have enjoyed this moment, you have made me feel like a rich man. Thieves usually enter the palaces of emperors. By your entering here my hut has also become a palace, I have also become an emperor. In my joy this just a gift.”
Even the thief felt sorry for him and he said, “No, I cannot receive this gift because you don’t have anything. How you are going to pass the night? It is so cold, and it is getting colder!”
Ryokan said with tears in his eyes, “You remind me again and again of my poverty. If it was in my power I would have taken hold of the full moon and given it to you.”
When the thief left he wrote in his diary:
The thief
left it behind —
The moon at the wind"
Paradox Within
It has been so long since I have written. I started this year with idea of writing daily but that has gone to dust. Still I manage to pen something over last week and I think its worth posting.
Paradox within:
But I realize there is nothing within
I try to fill it up with all the love I have
But something refuses to empty within
How do I explain to people I have
When I fail to understand the paradox within…
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) Lyrics
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) Lyrics
I heard this song on my way back home today. I was collecting my transcript from SMU for Carnegie Mellon and driving through the SMU on the Victoria Street... I heard this song and I reminded myself to find the song. But again, in rush of work I forgot the song till I was hitting the bed. So I woke up and decided to blog this.
As I move to USA, I dream to live in New York, and Nisarg plans to live in California, so well - I will live upto this song. Brilliant song :) Must hear. If not must read lyrics.
I heard this song on my way back home today. I was collecting my transcript from SMU for Carnegie Mellon and driving through the SMU on the Victoria Street... I heard this song and I reminded myself to find the song. But again, in rush of work I forgot the song till I was hitting the bed. So I woke up and decided to blog this.
As I move to USA, I dream to live in New York, and Nisarg plans to live in California, so well - I will live upto this song. Brilliant song :) Must hear. If not must read lyrics.
Saturday, 18 April 2009
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Personal choice dude!
The Cagle Post -- Column -- Connie Schultz -- Iowa Is a Big Step for the Midwest -- Maybe
People's objection to homosexuality fascinates me. Sex is after all a matter of personal choice. so why such uproar and objection again two matured adults! I would like to know what are the social repercussions of such relationship. I don't understand it?
For that matter I hold same opinion for anyone personal life. You want to have 10 or 1 relationship - its your call. I can't seem to judge people based on this criteria. I just get little peeved when people being morality BS in here.
The sense of proprietary for people annoys me. No wonder relationship 'ties' you down where I believe it should liberate you and allow you to be yourself. Osho had wonderful article on it... I will try to dig it out for my records.
People's objection to homosexuality fascinates me. Sex is after all a matter of personal choice. so why such uproar and objection again two matured adults! I would like to know what are the social repercussions of such relationship. I don't understand it?
For that matter I hold same opinion for anyone personal life. You want to have 10 or 1 relationship - its your call. I can't seem to judge people based on this criteria. I just get little peeved when people being morality BS in here.
The sense of proprietary for people annoys me. No wonder relationship 'ties' you down where I believe it should liberate you and allow you to be yourself. Osho had wonderful article on it... I will try to dig it out for my records.
Monday, 13 April 2009
Day 1 (of 40 day program)
Begin very well at 6 AM but dragged down by little laziness and could only get out of bed at 6.30. Not bad a start.
With enough time for breakfast, newspaper and PRAYER (which I had left 6 mths ago) I am feeling good about the day. Now its 11.20 - running late by 20 mins but then wanted to end day with the ritual of updating this page - of learning/discovering something new each day.
So today is not a learning but pondering session - If you have greater awareness of an idea/notion but not others around you, should you come down or wait for others to step up?
To evade the qtn the answer would be - depends. But nowadays I don't want to take the 'sitting-on-the-fence option. My approach till date is let them come up. Now I am thinking if it should be the other one.
What is Idol worhsip - all of us know that there is no God in that sculpture or picture. Yet, human mind needs a focus point to concentrate its mind and hence created something that they can identify, relate and focus on. Human mind is not capable of understanding the abstract. Hence the idol worship helps him to step up and then we see beyond the idol, the One we find.
Why suddenly this spiritual and religion gibberish in between? Probably same applies in day to day life. I think I need to step down in domain of relationships and society to pull up the people around me. I am not claiming a higher position here but then why do some trivial matter matters to my friends as much?
I am not plagued by greater-than-thou syndrome. Instead worried with I-am-not-normal problem. Yes my dear friend you are going to say 'tu kab normal thi' but folks thats all for now. I will try to step down and see how it works.... another to-do for 40day program.
With enough time for breakfast, newspaper and PRAYER (which I had left 6 mths ago) I am feeling good about the day. Now its 11.20 - running late by 20 mins but then wanted to end day with the ritual of updating this page - of learning/discovering something new each day.
So today is not a learning but pondering session - If you have greater awareness of an idea/notion but not others around you, should you come down or wait for others to step up?
To evade the qtn the answer would be - depends. But nowadays I don't want to take the 'sitting-on-the-fence option. My approach till date is let them come up. Now I am thinking if it should be the other one.
What is Idol worhsip - all of us know that there is no God in that sculpture or picture. Yet, human mind needs a focus point to concentrate its mind and hence created something that they can identify, relate and focus on. Human mind is not capable of understanding the abstract. Hence the idol worship helps him to step up and then we see beyond the idol, the One we find.
Why suddenly this spiritual and religion gibberish in between? Probably same applies in day to day life. I think I need to step down in domain of relationships and society to pull up the people around me. I am not claiming a higher position here but then why do some trivial matter matters to my friends as much?
I am not plagued by greater-than-thou syndrome. Instead worried with I-am-not-normal problem. Yes my dear friend you are going to say 'tu kab normal thi' but folks thats all for now. I will try to step down and see how it works.... another to-do for 40day program.
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Art of living satsang
Today I went to AOL satsang at Shangri La. Guruji had a hold for 4 hours and he decided to bless Singapore with his presence. So ta-da the enthusiastic volunteers put up a satsang in Shangri La within 2 days! I was impressed with their arrangement and dedication. More so, with turn out of 1200+ people - he had great following. I am not an ardent follower of his but someone who can command respect and attention of such a crowd intrigues me.
I have done AOL basic course 5 years ago. It was fashionable and I thought - why not. I did not follow up on the course but some thoughts stayed with me till date:
1) Vegetarianism - then I had tasted meet - chicken and fish, just a bite. I was unable to eat the meat because the very idea of killing someone to fill my stomach didn't work for me so I had decided to stay vegetarian but I was not promoting it. However, here I discovered the scientific explanation of vegetarianism - the biological differences which made me an ardent believer and also a promoter of vegetarianism.
2) Breathing - my first intro to the power of oneself through breathing. Though I didn't follow up on Sudarshan Kriya, I followed the basic 'soham' whenever I was stressed or worked up. Though at Samatvam I discovered the workings of breathing, brain and self which now prompts me to do this course again.
3) Spiritual journey begins here.
Today was the 1st time I saw Guruji in person. I was definitely moved - with tears in eyes on his arrival and departure. Somehow I felt this is what I am looking for. It was a great feeling.
Let me jump to learnings of the day which opened up my heart.
1) On recession - people were genuinely worried about this hardtime. So to cope with it ( or any stressful external factor) try these options:
a) Confidence in yourself. Fear not as this bad time shall also pass like bad times in 40s.
b) Look at the less fortunate ones - in political turmoil and loosing life. Is this as bad as Hiroshima?
c) Wake up each day and see the change around you. So this bad times will also change.
d) Give up your worry to the Divine. This is His method of keeping us grounded.
e) Pass it on to the guru = him.
2) Love... before I tell his thoughts, let me tell you I also used to think along this line however the society has set different criteria of evaluating love. So I was not very sure about my thoughts and this had led to conflict in my mind. Today I am at peace.
His idea - Love is silence. Unfortunately we fill up love with too much talk. Why do we ask 'do you love me?' we should be asking - why do you love me so much? We demand proofs of love from our dear one. Infact we should assume that as a fact and never question it. Understand this , our parents, spouse and friends have to prove themselves in the world each day. When they come home, do not expect them to prove their love. A child never asks his mother - do you love me? would you love me till end? No, he assumes this. This should be your love for every relationship!
3) What is the purpose of life? The question that has bugged me since I have gained consciousness of self...
Do not rush to find this answer. Keep this question with you, Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? Ask yourself each day and let it take you little deeper.
4) 40 day principle. Start your meditation and pranayam today and keep going for 40 days. You will see radical change around you. Do not feel guilty if you miss it for a day or 2 but keep going.
We ended with a meditation and it was blissful experience. But I take with me the 40 day principle to adapt a little change in my lifestyle.
One of it is daily writing of good thoughts/ideas/learning. Its 11.16 with 14 mins to bedtime. Good night.
I have done AOL basic course 5 years ago. It was fashionable and I thought - why not. I did not follow up on the course but some thoughts stayed with me till date:
1) Vegetarianism - then I had tasted meet - chicken and fish, just a bite. I was unable to eat the meat because the very idea of killing someone to fill my stomach didn't work for me so I had decided to stay vegetarian but I was not promoting it. However, here I discovered the scientific explanation of vegetarianism - the biological differences which made me an ardent believer and also a promoter of vegetarianism.
2) Breathing - my first intro to the power of oneself through breathing. Though I didn't follow up on Sudarshan Kriya, I followed the basic 'soham' whenever I was stressed or worked up. Though at Samatvam I discovered the workings of breathing, brain and self which now prompts me to do this course again.
3) Spiritual journey begins here.
Today was the 1st time I saw Guruji in person. I was definitely moved - with tears in eyes on his arrival and departure. Somehow I felt this is what I am looking for. It was a great feeling.
Let me jump to learnings of the day which opened up my heart.
1) On recession - people were genuinely worried about this hardtime. So to cope with it ( or any stressful external factor) try these options:
a) Confidence in yourself. Fear not as this bad time shall also pass like bad times in 40s.
b) Look at the less fortunate ones - in political turmoil and loosing life. Is this as bad as Hiroshima?
c) Wake up each day and see the change around you. So this bad times will also change.
d) Give up your worry to the Divine. This is His method of keeping us grounded.
e) Pass it on to the guru = him.
2) Love... before I tell his thoughts, let me tell you I also used to think along this line however the society has set different criteria of evaluating love. So I was not very sure about my thoughts and this had led to conflict in my mind. Today I am at peace.
His idea - Love is silence. Unfortunately we fill up love with too much talk. Why do we ask 'do you love me?' we should be asking - why do you love me so much? We demand proofs of love from our dear one. Infact we should assume that as a fact and never question it. Understand this , our parents, spouse and friends have to prove themselves in the world each day. When they come home, do not expect them to prove their love. A child never asks his mother - do you love me? would you love me till end? No, he assumes this. This should be your love for every relationship!
3) What is the purpose of life? The question that has bugged me since I have gained consciousness of self...
Do not rush to find this answer. Keep this question with you, Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? Ask yourself each day and let it take you little deeper.
4) 40 day principle. Start your meditation and pranayam today and keep going for 40 days. You will see radical change around you. Do not feel guilty if you miss it for a day or 2 but keep going.
We ended with a meditation and it was blissful experience. But I take with me the 40 day principle to adapt a little change in my lifestyle.
One of it is daily writing of good thoughts/ideas/learning. Its 11.16 with 14 mins to bedtime. Good night.
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
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